#RelationshipRuining effects of interconnectivity


Laura Faye / The Record

Schondra Aytch, Reporter

Even with all the opportunities technology provides us to connect and discover, it may be hindering our relationships.

There are various reasons a relationship can be ruined through technology, and it seems like social media is the main culprit. Outlets like Twitter and Instagram have been a prime factor because they virtually showcase our lives while we observe others. But in this day and age, our misuse and mindset might be part of the blame.

Kim Stolsz, a former contestant on “America’s Next Top Model” and author of “Unfriending My Ex And Other Things I’ll Never Do,” shared her perspective on the issue with Time Magazine.

“I think the rise of social media is definitely correlated with the rise of narcissism in our society,” Stolsz said. “Our self-esteem depends on how many likes we get, how many followers we get, if someone texts us back.”

I believe that is quite accurate. I know for sure that there is a certain excitement I get when I receive an unexpected text or like from someone.
That temporary excitement reassures me that I am important and valuable to someone out there. That misuse of confidence creates the feeling that there is always a person out there doing better, and it’s a bitter truth that I think Stolsz hits right on the head.

“I do think we’re all kind of in this big, worldwide reality television game. And we’re all competing to see who has the best life with the best boyfriend or girlfriend, having the best meals on the best vacations with the best families and the best dogs,” she said. “There is this competitive element. But just as quickly as I might scroll through Instagram and see 100 people liked a photo of me, and that makes me feel good, the next moment I might see all of my friends hanging out the night before and wonder why I wasn’t invited and feel extremely lonely about that. Now more than ever there are some major highs and really depressing lows, and they come so close together. So you begin to feel numb to genuine emotion.”
In some ways, social media can make us to connected, and this may not always be a good thing when discovering a past love or old flame.

I had a particular situation where this guy that I had a huge crush on in middle school began talking to me through messaging, and even though I wasn’t with anyone I couldn’t help but think of the possibility of us getting together. Though with a little bit of time I realized that it wouldn’t work out, I became aware of the fact that some things should be left in the past.

An article from Huffington Post touched on just how detrimental “connecting” can be.

“These are just a couple of the numerous ways that social media can thwart would-be relationships,” the article said. “And needless to say, online profiles, new ‘friends’ and unwanted notifications can also cause unnecessary problems once a relationship has begun.

“We have all been guilty of going through our current flavor du jour’s photos only to see old pictures of his former flame. Suddenly you have burbling feelings of jealousy all because of some stale images from long ago. You are his present, but social media has you living in the past.”
With intense thought and critical observations I’ve realized that I am ultimately the game changer in my relationships. It depends on how we use it and what we contribute to our profiles on Social Media.

In everything, we need balance, and technology is just one of those things that needs to be operated correctly. With that said, at the end of the day, use wisdom when it comes to social networks and consider the dangers when travelling through the web.

I think I’ll leave you with a quote I discovered on YouTube on this topic.
“They’re tools that enable your behavior, whether that’s good or bad. It’s not technology, it’s you.”

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