Hollywood lacks glamour due to untalented stars

Edwin J. Viera, Columnist

Has anyone ever heard of the singer Caro Emerald? While she is relatively unknown in the United States, she made a name for herself in Europe as a connoisseur of electro-swing, jazz, and swing music. She has her own record label called Grand Mono Records, and two albums. One album is titled “Deleted Scenes from the Cutting Room Floor,” and the other is “The Shocking Miss Emerald.”

How she remains unknown, I don’t know, especially since musicians have relatively no talent these days. While the sword is mighty, it has a double edge to it. The same principles can be applied to the acting world; for instance, take a look at the unknown 1990’s sitcom “Unhappily Ever After.”

The show is basically a retaliation by The WB to the sitcom “Married… With Children. Unhappily Ever After.” This show was designed as a vehicle for comedian Stephanie Hodge, so she could parlay into the acting field. It ended up as a vehicle for the supporting female cast member of her daughter, played by Nikki Cox, and Hodge’s character, Jenny, who was killed off from the show twice.

Cox went on to become the show’s lead runner in later seasons, and outlasted all of the other female cast members. This was weird because every time she appeared on screen, she had to wait until all of the catcalls and wolf whistles died down before she could deliver her mundane dialogue. If you watch the show, you’ll realize that she wasn’t funny, and didn’t do much except look pretty.

All in all, the mystery of missing talent is quite interesting. So many songs and shows have a certain quality that means no talent is required. Take a look at Chrissy Teigan on the TLC show “Lip Sync Battle,” case closed!

Has the necessity for creativity been lost? Could it be that the easy way is the only way? I can’t help but wonder.

In a world of bad television, and bad music, could there be a significant lack of talent that we perceive as success?

That remark I made about Chrissy Teigan earlier is true, in a way. She serves virtually no purpose on that show except to… well, I haven’t quite figured that part out yet.

Technically, her job description is to be the “colorful commentator,” but whenever I hear her voice it sounds like sharp nails on a chalkboard.

She has no form of talent, but she insists on trying to become something. Why; because she married John Legend, and she has no reason to be involved in the entertainment business. It just doesn’t make any sense, like Brooke Shields’ television career.

Brooke Shields starred as the title role in the sitcom “Suddenly Susan.” She was a two-dimensional character against three-dimensional costars, including comedian Kathy Griffin. With a flat delivery, she fulfilled the character of Susan’s personality, but didn’t make the show what it could have been. After four seasons, “Suddenly Susan” was cancelled and pulled from NBC programming.

Now it’s time for the women in music, which is a quick list consisting of Iggy Azalea, Ariana Grande, Ashlee Simpson (after she made her hit single, “Pieces of Me”), Rebecca Black, Yoko Ono, and Willow Smith. All of these women had at least fifteen minutes of fame, and made quite a large sum off of their terrible music. They somehow attracted such a large audience, and remained in the limelight for quite some time. Now let’s get straight to the men in music.

Soulja Boy, Pharrell Williams, Sean Kingston, Pitbull, Macklemore, and the rapper Stitches. Stitches made the list because his songs are pretty much screaming about drugs… and that’s it. With no real musical talent, but life experience in dealing drugs, Stitches seemingly stitched together his career in music. Soulja Boy just repeats the same word as demonstrated in his song “Pretty Boy Swag,” Pharrell Williams had one good song, Pitbull doesn’t ever make his own music, but is always featured on tracks, Sean Kingston had one good song, and Macklemore made two songs actually worth listening too.

Finally, it comes down to the television and film category. The worst of the worst, but surprisingly have talent. And the nominees are… Seth Rogan and Jaden Smith.

Seth Rogan isn’t funny, and if you want proof, take a look at his stoner film, Pineapple Express. Sure, he has two good movies, Neighbors and The Green Hornet, but other than that, he’s only got his performance on Freaks and Geeks. Jaden Smith just can’t act. His movie The Karate Kid was action filled, but his performance in After Earth was just stale and flat.

Fame isn’t fleeting, but apparently talent is; look at the Kardashians. People in the entertainment industry seem to be bulking up on fame, and ignoring the quality of their acting, singing, or rapping.

There’s no business like show business, but since anyone can join it, what’s all the fuss about? Hollywood has maintained a glamorous image, but as the paint chips, people can see what’s really behind the scenes. Maybe we all should look at the deleted scenes from the cutting room floor for the quality some of us are seeking.

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