Sexuality is a word more heavily discussed in the media. What exactly is sexuality and how does one come about understanding what his or her particular sexual orientation may be? To me, the answer to these questions is never simple.

Personally, I do not label myself because sexuality is complicated, and I believe everyone falls into a gray area. My gray area began my freshman year of college. I had been “boy crazy” my entire life, until I met a girl through friends at school.

At first, I was flustered and confused because I had never had feelings for someone of the same sex. I started to wonder about sexuality and how I fit into the spectrum of gay and straight, but soon realized I was somewhere in between. I began to label myself, as I understood it to be, as bi-sexual.

I had found myself attracted to an individual’s personality more then their gender. My attraction began with a person’s thoughts, the way they spoke. While I did not neglect physical features, that was never the most important.

To many people, this is hard to understand. Most people think, “How can you not think about gender?” or “You’re just confused, you’ll pick one,” and most commonly “It’s a phase.”

Well, here I am as a senior writing about my sexuality. Friends, this wasn’t just a phase. I grew to understand myself, and understand what the meaning of being bi-sexual was. To me, it was becoming fascinated with a person’s personality and not neglecting the physical features of person.

I have preferences about men and women, but I also find this preference, among many things in my sexuality, to be gray.

I have always strongly believed in gray. I believe that there is no right or wrong in sexuality, and simply no black or white.

I believe there is a gray; some people may be more black or white on the spectrum. I found myself to be gray, and although for many this is hard to understand, for me it is simple. I meet someone and if it is there, it’s there.

Questioning yourself is the hardest thing to do. Overcoming the challenges of attempting to explain who you are to your parents and friends is frightening, but ultimately, you have to be yourself.

Although labels choose to define what you may be to society, you define yourself. I choose to label myself as a person who is gray; I don’t prefer males or females.

As I go through life, I know many individuals may question my decisions. At the end of the day, one of the hardest choices in life is to be yourself in a world where finding yourself is hard.

Overcome the fear of failure and disapproval and realize that you are never alone, and there is always someone out there that may be the same gray as you.

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