Paul Keating, Australia’s 24th prime minister from 1991-1996 is well known for his biting insults, making him considered to be one of the most savage politicians of all time. In no particular order, here are some of his best quotes:
On Federal Opposition Leader John Hewson’s Acme Fightback!:
Hewson: I ask the Prime Minister, if you are so confident about your view of Fightback!, why will you not call an early election?
Keating: The answer is, mate, because I wanna do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances. I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm out of this load of rubbish over a number of months. There will be no easy execution for you!
On his advisor Stephen Smith:
He’s always between a shit and a shiver.
Describing John Hewson:
I was implying that the Honourable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock: alive, but looking dead.
And Andrew Peacock:
I suppose that the honourable gentleman’s hair, like his intellect, will recede into the darkness.
On John Howard, who would take Keating’s place as prime minister in 1996:
The Honourable Member for Bennelong is so gutless he runs away from a debate with me. When he gets a bit of guts back he should take me on and I will make a mess of him.
On Rupert Murdoch:
He’s a big bad bastard, and the only way you can deal with him is to make sure he thinks you can be a big bad bastard too.
More on John Hewson:
This little flower, this delicate little beauty, this cream puff, is supposed to be beyond personal criticism. He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.
And: The Leader of the Opposition always turns around when I drop one on him. He cannot psychologically handle it.
A favorite of mine: We just had a motion moved by the Shadow Treasurer, the Honourable Member for Wentworth, who could not sustain the debate. It was the limpest performance I have ever seen. Seven minutes into the speech he could not sustain it. It was like being flogged with a warm lettuce, flogged with a warm lettuce!
On the Deputy Leader of the Opposition, Peter Costello:
This bloke Costello got hit in the arse by a rainbow. He’s just got to wake up every morning and take credit for the economic outcomes I created.
About the Opposition:
When they’ve been falling over like nine pins, you would think this was the last question they asked, Mr. Speaker. I mean, I’ve had to knock over two of them in this parliament and now I’m onto my third. Now that, Mr. Speaker, I reckon, dare I say that’s something of a record. Banging over two opposition leaders and working on the third.
Others:
I regard you as a fool. A fool, right? Which is, of course, basically what you are.
I haven’t got much time for wimps and there are a lot of wimps around.
As a dog returns to its vomit so a fool returns to his folly.
Having enemies worries some people; for me, it is a badge of honour.
These are compiled from the Hansard, as well as the book The Book of Paul: the Wit and Wisdom of Paul Keating.
