You met in the Union, texted all day every day, hung out a few times… then suddenly, they “got too busy” Sounds familiar? If I got a dollar for every college student in a situationship rather than a committed relationship I would be Beyonce rich. Why is dating in college so confusing? Is it the pressure, the distractions or are people just bad at commitment?
The transition from High School dating to college dating is an obstacle everyone goes through. In High School you could see your partner every day in the halls, during lunch, or even after school in college everything seems to shift because there’s no set schedule and your relationship depends on effort, planning and priorities shift.
High School dating often felt like a Disney movie most times with fewer responsibilities now that you’re in college school, work, internships, and personal growth often take priority over dating. Let’s unpack the financial aspect and the lifestyle differences between High School and college.
In High School dating was cheap and simple but now that you’re in college money is tight and money goes into bills that go into making things stable: tuition, textbooks, transportation, and housing.
Not to mention we have new trends that are stopping college students from committing to relationships (situationships, hookup culture, and casual dating). We see this way too often in our daily lives from people acting like a couple but having no labels, and students loving freedom and less commitment, instead of saying “Do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend?” people say “Let’s just vibe” nowadays “talking” is the new dating.
Instead of courting someone and going through the steps to be in a faithful committed relationship people elongate the “talking stage” this includes and is not limited to texting, hanging out, hooking up, and having no clear commitment. People like the use of freedom because “it’s not cheating if we were never dating” without communication, many students end up hurt because of their assumptions.
The rise of “delulu” (delusional) dating social media plays a huge part in college dating where breaking up is no longer private and deleting pictures, unfollowing, and posting subs (talking about someone without stating who) are all signs of a breakup that people notice. People are obsessed with the idea of someone over online interactions rather than real-life conversations and connections.
People mistake liking stories, replies, and DMs (direct messages) as a grand gesture. Students start dating through Snapchat streaks and casual text. I don’t think romance is dead but it is way more low effort. What happened to compliments, flowers, or meaningful dates? The problem with this is that many students stay stuck in a phase of over-analysis instead of making real moves.
Maybe romance isn’t dead and is about compromise. Finding someone who fits into your “too busy” lifestyle may be key to a healthy, long-lasting relationship in college. Are we too focused on the fear aspect, or is modern dating just evolving too quickly for us to keep up with?
