Question: I’m in this early American Lit class and when you walk in all you smell is total frat boy B.O.—otherwise known as beer, sweat and axe. I’m a fashion major and everyone, even the other girls, looks at me like I’m a zoo animal when I walk in because I’m actually wearing normal clothes. It’s never really even super dressy clothes, I’m totally a believer that leggings are pants but why is it everyone is so judgmental when they all look like they rolled out of bed? It’s really starting to bother me.

From, “She doesn’t even go here”

Dear “She doesn’t even go here,”

You have brought up an issue that hits way too close to home, so this is a public service announcement.

My fellow Americans, colleagues, student body of SUNY Buffalo State…

It is understandable that no one really wants to be in an 8 am class, has the time or effort to, oh I don’t know, brush their hair when they wake up or even shower. But this hobo chic trend has become an epidemic on college campuses.

Ladies, buy a hairbrush. And gentlemen, please just for the love of all that is good in the world, get up five minutes earlier and shower.

If you look like you have a bird’s nest on top of your head, or like you need a hose down, you’re probably in need of some desperate re-evaluation of what’s important in life.

I wish I could say that trends this season resembled that of a simpler time where clothes were used to represent who you are. The classic look, where wearing a dress to school did not mean you’d get dirty looks from other girls or the simplicity that radiated in the days of James Dean. A t-shirt and tailored jeans is not that hard to put together.

Instead, fashion has been made into a mockery, you’re an alien if you care what you look like. “Fashion” will never be defined with UGGs and a Northface. If you and your entire group of friends look like clones – that should probably be a red flag.

AND I do not care what your gender is, just please do not succumb to wearing the same sweatpants everyday out of laziness of not doing laundry.

You never know who you’re going to meet, could be your future spouse, a future employer, or just a good old hookup.

Just clean it the $@%! up because I’m not sure how much longer my fashion-obsessed little heart can take this sad form of a society. You all know you don’t look that sloppy in your Tinder pictures.

XOXO,

This Week’s Anna Wintour

“Hate me, now. Thank me, later.”